Thursday, March 13, 2014

Beyond Uncle John: Urban Dictionary - Compiled by Aaron Peckham

Some books are destined for the loo - and you can consider that a compliment.  Only select literature is worthy of the undivided attention of every single member of a household - and their guests.  And only select literature can meet the very particular criteria a bathroom book requires in order for it to be presented with the honor of being perched on the back of the latrine.  The two major prerequisites are:

1. It must have content that is short, sweet and to the point.  No novels allowed - that's gross.

2. It must have educational value (Yes, Archie comics and Calvin and Hobbes are highly educational).

And while not considered an essential, humor is highly desirable.

So why not just take your I-Phone or I-Pad in with you?  One slip of the hand will answer that question.

Books are best.

Check this selection out:

Author: Compiled by Aaron Peckham
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC

A compilation of the 'hottest slang that defines your world' selected from the popular site

Here are some of my favorites:
  • Mysterectomy - Taking all the suspense out of a movie by revealing spoilers to someone who hasn't seen it.
  • Land clam -  A mass of phlegm expelled from the esophagus onto a surface such as asphalt or concrete.  It is the only nonshelled mollusk know to man. (GROSS!)
  • High School Hero - A guy with a shitty job and no life in his twenties who dwells in how good his life was in high school.
  • Christmas creep - A phenomenon where the Christmas season starts earlier and earlier each year.
  • Entremaneur - Someone who makes a living selling bullshit to the masses.
  • Porch dog - A person who frequently attacks others in speech or writing but who poses no intellectual threat.  This type of person is usually obnoxious and offensive.  Refers to dogs that sit on front porches and bark vigorously and fruitlessly at passersby but pose no physical threat.